Youre an idiot

I do stupid things because I like to play into the fact that my life is seriously retarded. I hope later this month I read this and say, "oh fuck, I have a good point".

This week was retarded. Like to the point where I hate people a lot. This damn stupid son of a bitch Aaron from Edison kept fucking with me on when he was going to get the Trash Talk posters so much so that I was having serious anxiety, which is not fun. nope no fucking fun. Then has the genius to send three of the most sarcastic dick fuck E-street kids (whom I love and hate alot) to my work to pick up the posters without the money!? it was a mess, and then when he did get them to me gave me to much money, which I should have taken and told him to go fuck himself, but Im not that type. Though I wish I was sometimes...

Friday I went to philly, it was pretty awesome getting drunk with Julia, Eddie and Regis. We went to making time, where Regis and I proceeded to make fun of everyone there haha. Saturday I went to lunch at Honey's with Blur and Julia, Eddie works there and he suggested I get this veggie burger melt sandwitch thing, which ruled my life needless to say. Later we dropped Blur off at work and headed to South St to my favorite Antiques place we both got dresses. Mine is pink and obnoxious.

Later that night I went to dinner with Regis to this place The Devils Den, they fucked up my order so we got a free desert which was this razzzzberry turn over, it was like crack, and I love crack. After dinner I dropped him off at his house and I met up with Blur, we got trashed at this bar and met some very strange characters, one who even gave us the details on how he is totally stalking this girl and has been for weeks. FANTASTIC!

Today I got back from philly and went to the grocery store, the rain was so hard that everyone was like trapped there. Then the lighting was hitting the parking lot and people were scared to go to their cars. I could only think of Frankie O, my first real boyfriend when I was 15 and how last year his mother was struck by lightening and died, needless to say I ran to my car in the pooring rain and booming death..haha.

Two weeks til camp ends, two weeks til Sam comes to visit! I might just go back to Cali with her...hmmm...two weeks til I get back to lovely Brooklyn and work up a storm on new art, all through camp Ive been writing in my book new ideas Im so excited to create them.

Im discontent, and I would like for Tim to be back from Cali, I want to go to the beach at night and talk about how cold weather is better then warm weather.

Start wearing purple

So I finished the designs today for Trash Talks poster for Sound and Fury. Im really excited because its different from alot of stuff Ive been doing, its going these zombie crows with candles and weird shits super tight.

Ive been kinda sick lately but not really sick, its confusing. The more I am here still, in America I realize Im not ment to be here. The weather is awful and it makes me sick constantly, people here just suck, everyones so one track. I just want to travel the world and fucking move to Camden England already. I figure Ill start there and after like 3 years move to Japan..

Modeling has been on hold this month so I can not die from over working and sort of have a life Im still waiting to hear back from Dale May about working together for Tattoo Life and doing the cover shoot. Raquel is still rooting for me, which makes me feel alittle better, I love that little cupcake. Yesterday I got an email from INKED another tattoo mag that had Kat Von D and Denise Richards on the cover recently. They told me I have a test shoot on August 2nd which is exciting so it would be hilarious if I got both.

This weekend I went out for the first time in a long time. I met up with Russian Kate and her friend and we proceeded to get trashed at the lanes. Kimmy Monster met up with us too so it was a pretty awesome night. Later I got lost trying to find Tim at the stupid bar he was at...ugh. I found him and we went back to his house to go to sleep. When we got there we went into the back yard so he could smoke. I just layed in the grass and looked at the sky, their were only two stars and the moon was full. It was nice to lay in grass, live grass that was green insted of brittle dead grass at my parents house. I find this all to be a metaphor for something.

Oh before I forget, I got a email from this salon in NYC that wants me to do this make up, hair, waredrobe thing for them for INSTYLE magazine! and some other mags too. So that also kicks ass. I think after I get all newly done up Im going to talk to Yvette from UGLY NYC about modeling for them and get signed.

The lords got no humor.

So as you can tell from my lack of postings things have been pretty epic lately...

Camp is going awesome, this year we honestly have a really great group and Im thankful indeed for that.

Nordstroms as always is like a fucking gate to hell and Im scared to see when it opens friday for the sale. All the maddness and blood sheid... I just imagine suburban house wives dressed in full viking gear swinging battle axes and swords fighting over the last 7 1/2 Stewart Whitesman shoe...oh the horror... THE HORROR.

Working 8:30am- 10:30pm straight is obviously killing me slowly..

Last thursday I went to go see The Banner play with Trouble Maker, Pelinore, The Mongoloids and afew other bands. Me and Greg flipped a coin and I won again for the 3rd time in a row for us to be friends for the evening..haha. All the bands did awesome. Alan from Mongoloids is seriously one of my favorite babies ever and I cant wait for him to move to NYC in august, its going to be retarded. A bunch of the dudes from Trash Talk were all at the show and they ended up playing, which was of course awesome.

I sold posters there that have a very interesting story behind.. I ended up selling them all and making back all my money for paper, gas, dinner and to get new glasses. WAHOO! I made 33 at first, but the night before the show as I walked out to my car with them in broken porfolio in hand I sliped in the rain and 11 flew out of my bag. FUCK. totally destroyed. But I still sold the other half of them so that was great.

Before that I went to see Dale May, a fantastic photographer who I did a casting with for the cover of Tattoo Life. I hope I got it, I thought he really liked me and Ill be so bummed if I dont get it. I talked to Raquel Reed earlier today and she told me he told her she made it.. so I know now theirs only afew spots left I just hope I get that phone call. I hope if I do get it that me and Raq can do a cover together! Because we would be retarded hot on the cover of that magazine together.

Today I got an email from this dude AV who aparently told me Trash Talk liked my poster at the Banner show and that TT wants one for sound and fury fest next weekend! So I have to get crackin, depending on how many they want will depend if I can do it. If they want like 40 then its totally on and Im so stoked to do work for those guys. Paid work...yummmm.

Later tonight I have to call Steve Grims about doing a shoot. Lord knows I need the money and his stuffs pretty tight.

Im thinking of changing my hair color...again.. haha. But I need to figure it out before I do anymore shoots because with my new stuff im going to send it to UGLY NYC so I can be signed already because Im over this doing it myself shit.

Im just so tired... I wish that I didnt have to work myself like this..

Im also in this SUPER OUT OF CONTROL Gogol Bordello kick lately. Im also saving up to take violin lessons again during the school year, so I can start a band and be retarded. haha.

Exhaustion

Im so tired lately, I came home from work thursday and just crashed out.. Working three jobs is murder on me.

Ive cancelled all my shoots for July because the last time I did all three jobs at once I ended up in the hospital. So lets not do this.

Camp has been fantastic, the kids are amazing and love art which makes them so great. Weve been making all kinds of goodies for projects and Im in the process of teaching them how to sew, were making stuffed animals haha and theyre AWESOME!

Wednesday I went to the lanes with Kim and Lauren to hang out and also see Tim and his other band play Gimi Drugs, with The Loved Ones. The show was awesome, the drama was not. It was pretty epic I even peed infront of Kims car just to get her to laugh and feel better haha thats how good of a friend I am! haha. Wow what a crazy night.

Im pissed I wanted this dress on ebay and some whore from australia bought it! SO MAD! Now im going to have to make it...ughh.



Last night was 4th of July, I went up to see Richard and hang out for a bit, earlier this week he and I saw Wall.e which was FANTASTIC! After hanging out at the BBQ at Kates and talking to BoyDave about God and yatta yatta I drove down to Asbury to meet up with Jrok and Tim. We saw the fireworks as I fought with clans of moms, shovey children and the rain. We then fled to the lanes where I got very drunk and met his friends Jeremy from Let it Burn and Molly, whom came all the way from Ohio! I then drove us all home, as I got out of the car I called in victory to another night of not getting a DWI.

Tonight Im back in NYC to do some silk screening for the Banner CD release show at some church in NJ should be awesome, the design is so evil I love it hahaa. I think im going to re draw it and make it even better then before. because I roll like that.

I leave you with this.. back from Chrismas when my hair was black!